It's be a while since I updated this blog, a lot has happened and that's
mainly why I haven't! I'll try to catch up over the next few days and
weeks and so fill you in on the various things that have been going on.
Just a recently a swarm of bees decided to take up residence in our garden,
they were quite a sight as they form a house sized cloud above our roof buzzing
like an armada of mopeds.
They settled in the corner of the garden wall (or the back of Retired Farmers
house) about 20 feet up and we thought it a good idea to go and tell him.
In an uncharacteristic flurry of activity he came straight around and insisted
that we all went to his house for our safety! Competitive wife was
expecting a visit from a hairdresser so he said it would be fine for her to
stay indoors but I and Terrible two's girl really should come over to his and
share a bottle of Rose (This is French Health and Safety practice in action)
(Terrible two's girl did not share the Rose!).
Reluctantly I went and spent a lovely afternoon in next doors garden at the
end of which Retired Farmer promised to be back at 8 that evening (When the
bees had gone to bed!) to seal up the entrance as, in his opinion, they were
not accessible for the local honey producer to come and collect them.
8pm came and went and we assumed that he had forgotten but a mere 2 hours
later he turned up with his mate (one of the many non descript Frenchmen of a
certain age who inhabit the village and have a repeating name, Jo-Jo, Ho-Ho,
Fon-Fon, Lu-Lu etc, etc [that's not one]). Clearly they had spent the
evening up to that point drinking as Retired farmer staggered in with a ladder
and his mate just attempted to push, kick, poke or barrack him at every
opportunity. Armed with paper and mastic he then set about closing up the
entrance of the hive and by way of celebration insisted that I join them in his
cellar for a bottle of wine.
3 hours later and 30 minutes after his mate had gone home we emerged from
his cellar into utter darkness (The village lights were off) whereupon he
looked at me and asked who I was! Laughingly I tried to respond by
shining the light from my phone on my face whereupon he fell flat on his
arse. Once I'd located him I helped him to his door where he once again
asked me who I was and why did I have a bottle of his Vin d'Epine (which he'd
given me an hour earlier as a gift) under my arm. I replied as best I
could and went home.
The next day the bees were free again and that evening Retired Farmer turned
up with his son and a can of expanding foam! I'm no bee expert but I
didn't rate the chances of this plan working all that highly and funnily enough
the next day the bees were free once more. On the 3rd evening he turned
up with a local builder and a pot full of plaster!
At the time of writing the bees are yet again free.
